I never thought I would have a c section. I never thought I would have issues getting or staying pregnant. But after everything, I've learned none of this birth experience has gone as planned. I wanted to write a somewhat shortened version of the birth of our Benjamin so he can come back and see our adventures and know of his birth in our family.
Over the weekend I had been feeling crampy, but nothing too strong. It felt similar to menstrual cramps and my doctor said that is normal the weeks leading to birth. On Monday I had two appointments: one with the chiropractor to try and flip my breech baby and one with my ob. My ob said my cervix was at 1 cm and things were looking good for delivery in the next few weeks. I felt confident that baby Lopez wasn't coming for a while.
After my appointments I stopped at Walmart thinking I really needed to get his bed ready in case he came next week (sheets and a cover). I went home and had little time before Jamir and I would head to Costco for the monthly grocery trip and our last parenting class. Ironically we finally bought diapers that trip. I was feeling a little more pain by then but thought it had to be more to be a contraction. We left our class at 9:30 to get home to get some sleep. I remember being really tired. We had also planned to pack our hospital bags that night, but I said "he's not coming for a while, let's do it tomorrow."
Finally we were able to get to bed around 11. Manolo was acting wild for some reason and I couldn't get to sleep. I stood up to pee and couldn't stop. It just kept coming. I thought I'd finally become incontinent, but then realized it was clear. Was it my water? I second guessed myself but ended up calling the clinic. The on call doc said to come in especially after he heard the baby was breech. We finally packed our bags half hazardly, Jamir gave me a blessing, and we headed to the birthing center.
I had what I thought were real contractions on the 25 min drive. It felt similar to when I miscarried naturally. And they came every 5 mins. We got there at midnight. I was nervous thinking I wasn't ready for this yet. We hadn't gotten him to turn!
The nurse checked us in while I stood having contractions. I'm pretty good at hiding it because I didn't want to be wrong or dramatic about showing up at 12 am to the birthing center. They took me to the prepping room, did one last ultrasound, and confirmed my water did break. It was happening too fast! Jamir and I both couldn't believe we were about to meet our boy.
My doctor and the anesthesia guy showed up and they wheeled me into the surgery room. Jamir couldn't come for the first part-which was the worst for me. I was so scared and in shock still. I remember shaking a lot and feeling cold. One nurse had me hold onto her while they gave me the shot. I asked her if I could become paralyzed and she said not possible. I felt a warm tingling at my feet and they helped lower myself on my back. I was panicked because I couldn't breathe very well. I tried to cough but ended up throwing up my cookie from the parenting class. A nurse caught it with a bowl and I felt very sorry for them and myself.
They pulled up the curtain and Jamir came in. He started talking to me so I wouldn't think about what was happening. I wish the lights weren't reflective because I saw parts. I just focused on breathing and listened as the doctor told Jamir he was about to come. I was surprised Jamir looked because he is sqirmy around blood. I didn't feel a thing but saw to my right as they put him on the weighing table. Jamir walked over to him and tried to get him to hold his hand. They put him on my chest and I instantly worried if he was okay. He was so tiny. I hadn't expected him to be so small. The nurses asked for his name and Jamir and I both agreed he looked like a Benjamin. Born at 2:04 am. After weighing and measuring him they took him away.
I was wheeled into the recovery room where he was able to feed and sit with me. Jamir and I just couldn't believe what happened. It was a normal day and within two hours he was out of me and with us.
I spent the rest of the time getting the feeling back in my body and taking pictures and admiring our little boy. Jamir looked so proud. He couldn't stop holding him. I was surprised at what he looked like. We both agree he has my hair and lips (strong steflik traits) but other parts we are not so sure. We call him a little bird because he is so small with his beaky lips we love.
We were taken to the last room to recover and spend the night. Since I had a c section we would be staying longer. They wrapped me so I would have pressure on my stitches. The first time trying to walk was awful. But I was able to shower and order as much food as I wanted. The nurses were all extremely nice and seemed to fawn over him. I wondered how much of them actually think he is cute (because they see babies all the time) or just said it, but I'm not going to argue. I really believe he is the cutest baby alive.
We relaxed, talked, and bonded with Benjamin for the two days. We got flowers and had some visitors. I told Benjamin all about his family, how Jamir and I met and our adventures. He really liked to listen. He was so calm. He would sleep so easy after being swaddled. We love him so much. I watched him at night to make sure he was still breathing.
The next day the doctor came in to tell me interesting news. She said when she cut into my uterus that he was only in half of it. The other half was still small as if I wasn't pregnant. It turns out that my uterus never formed properly and has a wall in the middle. It has a 75% chance of miscarriage. It also explains why Benjamin came three weeks early, is smaller, why he couldn't turn his head down, and why my stomach never got huge and was off to the side. As I listened, I thought about future pregnancies and the challenge they would be. But then I thought about how Benjamin really is a miracle. He came when and how he wanted and we couldn't be happier (or more tired). I never thought this would happen to me, but from the beginning I have felt he was special and would be a very calming influence for us for good. We love our Benjamin more than I ever thought I would.
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| Fresh from the womb. :) |
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| born on a toad tuesday. his onesie is so big! and I LOVE his hair |
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| His stats. tiny, but healthy little guy |
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| listening to stories |
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| looking up at dad |
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| all wrapped up and looking around |
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| flowers from visitors |
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| Jamir is a master at the swaddle. |
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| Mom-son pic. |
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| love |
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| first family photo |
